day-dreamer

another goodbye

2012-01-18T19:31:00.003+07:00

I dont know what to write here; been thinking alot lately. I dont even know what to write here. Sucks huh? YES!

Oh well, I also need a gateway, like seriously. I need to release all these craziness. I have not been practicing my english since I touched down Indonesia and I think my english sucks already :(

Lemme share what I can share here.

1. Work

I am still working as a banker at PermataBank. I dislike my job, I wanna quit but poor me, those people dont wanna make it easy for me. This is really my first job for real and I did not know if there are tons of politics and snakes at there. I screwed my first plan and hence, I have to deal with this job like a year or maybe 3 years? I am so dead. The first person who reminded me bout the politics was him. He used to be bf, he taught me how to face colleagues or even an evil at work. thanks anyway :)

2. Life

I miss my old times :( I miss the fun and laughter ..

3. Family

I have a superb family ♥

say hello to 2012

2011-12-30T18:23:00.011+07:00

First week of 2012

wishlist:

1. Galaxy tab. Well, I have dreamed bout this gadget from last year

and now I am going to get it after CNY or on February.

-Galaxy Tab 7.7-

-Galaxy Tab 7.0 plus-

2. A Celine's Handbag.

3. Tiffany&Co charm bracelet

Need to save lots of money to get those things. Im dying for it >.<

admit it

2011-04-20T21:51:00.002+07:00

I am sitting in front of laptop and supposed to browse bout education thingy but ended up with blogging. This topic has crossed in my mind few times. It is about 'the mouth' 'the gossips' the rumours' and life. people tend to talk bad about others intentional or unintentionally and it happens to us too. I dont deny it because I did it somehow and it does not mean you never talked about me too. Admit that you did the same would be better than being a hypocrite. You could be mad at me but dont you think you did the same too? why dont you just admit and leave it behind? I could be mad at you too, but I choose not to. you know why? It because I know people do mistakes and we as humans have to understand and have to forgive in order to have a better life. In this life, everyone keeps complaining about their life but somehow, before we judge, we have to put ourselves in their shoes to know what they feel. I am here to tell, I hate nobody. I have learned a lot from the past few years. Hating people wont help you to get a better life.

boredom kills

2011-04-06T16:59:00.005+07:00

Perfectionist leads people to a dead end while on the other side, it has its own good as well. When you are in your 'mature' age, you should know how to act, talk and behave like one. You cant always depends on people to remind you every single thing to make you a better one. People may get tired and so do you. Being too confident wont help you at all if its not suit with what you have been doing. You should recall from the very first day and you will know there's a lot of barriers between you and me. what has happened lately is really a big turn-off for me. It wont be easy to get the ticket to someone's heart or even being a tunnel of someone's soul. When the door is closed and locked, you will know that the key you are holding is no longer used and you should get a new key by starting it all from the very first step or perhaps you can give up and leave it just like that. you might think I am a cold-blooded but to be honest, I am just being myself. I believe, one day there is someone who can accept me for who I am. It takes a special character to deal with a picky 'virgo'. Believe it or not, I am a virgo and well, its just an additional before I stop typing.

irresponsible

2010-12-05T00:16:00.002+07:00

I could admit that I am not ready yet for working life. I dont even know how to commit with it. Honestly, my self-management is worst. I couldnt manage my time and I never went to work on time. oh damn! I feel ashamed and I am irresponsible. I guess I am going to take a short break from everything and enjoy my life to the max. I have been pressing my brain too hard and thinking a lot for these few months. On the other side, I have to learn how to be wise, how to say NO when it is needed and more mature than now. and I wish I could have a better life. I do not want to be trapped anymore.

degree on hand

2010-11-28T23:53:00.003+07:00

So,

here I am ..

a Bachelor of Business Accounting behind my name..

I am so happy.

thanks for those who have supported me during my study periods.

and

congrats for VU students :)

I hate goodbye

2010-11-16T22:28:00.003+07:00

I have to say I hate goodbyes and I guess everyone does. I do have my regrets, the past few months I just had one goodbye but I wont explain much bout it. Honestly, I am not good in writing blogs so, pardon me if my writing is really bad. tonight, sjazili yanto putra which is my god-bro flying back to china with robin setiawan. they have been spending one week time here to be with friends, family and the most important was for their convocation. I met bro's family and they were so friendly and willy (the only lil bro of sjazili aka lung2) called me cece (*read: sister). I enjoyed every single time with all of them. Now, I am sitting here, in my room alone, feeling blue that I have to say goodbye again to few of them. Since, I am having my long holiday after exam and currently I am not in a good condition which I am having flu, cough and sore throat, the past few days, I was having high fever and torturing me so much. To kill my boredom, I spent my time for shopping and watching series. I feel guilty, YES I AM because I have spent a lot of money which I really know I cannot earn it back in 2months working. I am truly sorry, daddy. Currently, I am watching Gossip Girl back from season 1 since I almost forgotten whats the story about. I am kinda like this movie cos sometimes it could give us some educations as in, best friend's things, etc. I am also waiting for my result, Dear God, please let me pass this AFA subject. I have did my best, and the rest will be on You, dear God. Please let me pass. thanks God.

here is the picture of me and bro after his convocation. Sadly, I did not take any pictures with willy, perhaps next time :)

flowers ♥♥♥

2010-11-11T17:59:00.006+07:00

this evening I went to florist shops with one of my besties. We were looking for graduation bouquet. Step into the florist shop is really a good idea, you can see lovely flowers and could make you feel happy with no reason.*I know it may sound exaggerating but seriously, I love flowers. The smell of it, the colours and the types of it. I found Lilies, red roses and pink roses, daisies, sunflowers, etc but sadly, I couldnt find any tulips :( I did not know how I can be so happy when I saw the flowers. I could say Im smiling right now :))) and and, someone told me Im gonna get mine real soon when I reach my hometown. aw aw aw! :)))) I know, I cant put my hope on it, in case I dont get it, I wont be upset but but, those words completed my evening :)

Look at the pictures below, they look so nice, arent they? ;)

dear you, yes you

2010-08-22T14:58:00.004+07:00

please mind your own business, fella.

you dont have any rights to tell everyone about my life. you are just too KEPO to keep updating people about me or maybe you are just too jealous with me? okay, lemme tell you something, I know whatever things you did behind me, I heard some rumours about you but I wont do the same like you did. whatever things you have seen wont guarantee you know everything, perhaps i could highlight YOU KNOW NOTHING. Eyes can see everything in the world but doesnt mean what you have seen is the truth. last but not least, judge me whatever you want, I wont give a damn. Karma comes so fast, one day it will hit you.

disappointment

2010-07-20T14:14:00.004+07:00

another one more day and AFA paper will be in front of me. NERVOUS? Yes, absolutely! READY? no, im not. i have spent almost one week plus for AFA but still I cant master on it. whats wrong with me? ohh :'(

i feel so dumb n useless right now. I DISLIKE MY ROOM ! its making me sick and slacking for whole day. this room is totally not suitable for people who wanna concentrate on studies. I have been trying to drag my body outside the room, but still this lazy ass cant even move n keep sticking on the sofa. arghh !

Buddha, please help me to pass this level. the only thing that i need is only a PASS. Credit, Distinction or even High Distinction can only come to me when I can do my paper well.

I have been promising myself to be productive for these few days but still, its never work that well. wish me luck, people. seriously need it :(

Thanks God :)

2010-07-14T21:11:00.004+07:00

I remembered the night before the result came out, me n friends were so panic waiting for it. One hour before, we couldnot stop checking myvu website to see whether the result has released or not. Me, Myself cant even stand straight; my whole body was shacking. can you imagine that? this last semester is really killing me, a big pressure with it. Luckily, God heard my prayers and let me pass those three subjects. Terima kasih Tuhan :)

Hence, left AFA as my deffered exam on 23rd July. AFA will be my last fight to get my bachelor of business. Please bless my very last paper, My Lord. If I could not get a C, D or HD, please just let me get a P for AFA. Its more than enough for me.

Distance and Time

2010-07-03T19:51:00.003+07:00

this is a random picture when I was trying for some clothes and dresses

hey you, I bet you can recognize this picture and the figure of your hand with a black ribbon ring on your finger ;)

Next picture is a view of Maldives Island. This is the island which I really wish I can go there someday. It looks cool, isnt it?

Last but not least, this little sweet thingy made my day, someone gave me few days after I reached Malaysia (:

A silent hug means a thousand words to a weary heart

2010-07-03T17:34:00.004+07:00

Currently I'm staying in overseas and sometimes, I love being home alone because I seldom have time to be home. But when I'm home alone, I always have bad thoughts that ruins inside my head and I hate this. As an ordinary girl, I couldnt cope with this. The first day I was home, I was happy and the next day, I feel so fucked up. Well, I guess I need a new place so I wont get bored and I need YOU, yes you who is having holiday right now to be here and accompany me go for shopping before all of us going back for good (I hope the best for this upcoming special exam and result, amen).

I'm having some kind of distractions which I dislike when I'm home alone, so I decided to pack some of my stuffs inside my hugest luggage I ever had. And finally, this huge luggage is full with my clothes. phewww !!

I wish I can be outside right now, reading my books and cover at least two chapters of it but, unfortunately, I'm home and this room makes me lousy and think a lot. I should not be home, I guess.

I am actually counting days to the day where my boarding pass in on my hand and welcoming the place where I belong to. I love that place and the foods. It just I could not cope with the people there which some of them are seriously pervert and scary.

Anyway, I had my short vacation last week, I went to two different places which still within Malaysia. Well, nothing much I could tell except I was so damn happy to see parents and brother and I could have super duper lazy days with you (:

2010-06-30T21:01:00.006+07:00

finally, I can have my own time at home for 24hours. wow ! its kinda surprising me and I enjoyed it so much. I have rejected offers from few friends to go for movie, karaoke, billiard or even cafe-ing. Currently im alone in my unit. my housemates went back to hometown for holiday. so, i can have my time to wash my clothes, re-arrange my room and watch movie til i fall asleep. what a plan for tonight XD

To be honest, I feel my whole body needs massage and spa. Im so exhausted and feel like going back hometown for a proper rest. I have another one exam next month and please bless my paper, God. My Lord, im begging you.. please let me pass this semester. I dont wanna see my parents disappointed by me. I will do my best for this paper and thanks God for giving me another one more chance.

trust

2010-06-30T20:28:00.002+07:00

Trust ~

need a long time to built;

a second to destroy it;

and

a life time to re-built it.

It is better to trust the eyes rather than the ears

uncountable words

2010-06-30T20:03:00.004+07:00

promises are just lies tied with pretty ribbons

following what you want, the way you are

will be just nice to see and feel from outside

may you rest in peace

2010-06-15T21:38:00.004+07:00

RIP grandma

15 June 2010

be strong, mom..

i wish i could be there for you all

im so sorry :(

Tinna Constantia

happy for you, dearest

2010-06-13T21:33:00.005+07:00

i received news from bf that he passed everything and he is going to graduate soon. congrats bf.. (:

on the other hand, its my turn to worry about my upcoming exam. its really killing me. i feel like crying and giving up. im trying my best not to disappoint my parents anymore but i have no confident at all.

now im having my 10minutes break from books. huffff...

okay, at last i realized, i dont really like theories part from all of my subjects. its seriously need more times to memorize =(

tmrw going to study out from sunway and hope i can finish at least 80% of it. wish me a big luck anyway >.<

10mins has passed

time for me to go,

good luck people

big pressure

2010-06-08T01:02:00.005+07:00

now i realize, im seriously in danger. im running out of time and i havent finish my study yet. i have to kill those subjects for God's sake. i have been trying to cut down my sleeping time and focus on study. it just i couldnt help myself of it. this room is seriously too comfortable for me. damn it !

i have another 3 days for AFA and DMO exam and left another 3 days for me to focus on auditing. oh God, i will try my best to pass those papers and hope You will bless me for this. my brain is overloaded with these 3 subjects and i really scared i cant do my best.

i tried to release my stress by writing post on my blog. at least it could help me for awhile. i cant always depends on people cos i know some of them also facing their own problems. thanks for those who have offered me your help and your care :)

woman is like a police. they can have all the evidences in the world but they still want the confession - Chris Rock

Tinna Constantia

2010-05-27T17:58:00.000+07:00

Communication is key.

Never shut your mouth towards someone who's opened your heart. .

2010-05-26T01:26:00.000+07:00

i havent sleep yet even i have a test tmrw. today i had a good time with bf. we went to one of the shopping centres around damansara, had sushi tei as late lunch and ended up with SHREK. unluckily, bf doesnt really like sushi. when i ordered some maki(s) with fried things inside, he can eat but not that much, maybe he's not used to it and i feel guilty on it. sorry :(

after i finished my study with one friend, i had a short conversation with him before i went back. he is a good one i guess, he learn alot from his experiences. after that, i had a good chat with some folks on BBM. thanks for making me laugh, thanks for your 'good luck' and thanks for taking care of me even we seldom seeing each other.

blossom into maturity

Tinna Constantia

Gnite (:

3am

2010-05-23T14:46:00.000+07:00

life has been so good lately.. even im going to face my final exam soon, still I can chill out with some friends. =)

I'm trying to do revision as much as I can. to be honest, I'm really scared of this. I have made a wrong decision which ended up with taking DMO as my elective. oh God, im seriously not good in marketing, not really know how to bullshit. another thing, AFA n Auditing also killing me. those three subjects really drive me insane. the worst part is AFA n DMO fall on the same date. what a surprise for me. :'(

oh yea, currently.. im totally broke and penniless (Limanto 2010). i dont even know where i spent all my money. it just im going out everyday and it cant stop me from spending..

forgive me daddy .. =(

im so damn happy today, daddy is here AGAIN. he called when i was sleeping n surprise me. =)

seems like everyone's parents call their kids or even came to surprise them. and i guess, this is not a copy cat issue..

and and.. last but not least, thanks for your accompany baby ..

2010-05-21T04:45:00.001+07:00

its almost 6am in the morning and i couldnt sleep. i miss him =(

since i have nothing to do, i read one of my invisible friends' blog and i like his post so, lemme copy to my page.

ps: A, sorry for copying your post.. >.<

'I will say this from girl's perspectives...just say there's one guy shoot you...you do not like him,,, he did so many things for you and obviously you can see his effort on chasing you..but you do not want him to be your boyfriend even after he done so much to you...and you considering to accept him just because you PITY him...Okay...same, I cannot say this is wrong or not..but I'm fully disagree with this....I know woman's heart made from a jelly and man's heart made from rock...but how come you accept a guy that you do not like...It's all just because you pity him?...shame on you... you know,, you must say YES or NO to this situation... people do not need your sympathy... just let him know your heart then it will be okay.. people will learn how to handle love if they have experiencing a broken heart..."

i do agree with your opinion that do not accept any guys to be boyfriend if girls dont like them. but sometimes, guys always think that girl is too naive or even too egoist cos after girls get everything from guys (whatever things that guy has did for her), girl dumps that guy. its not really in that way, it just, the girl never expected the guy will do it for her and you as a guy know if you are doing it sincerely, you wont complaints on it just because you got rejected. in my opinion, girl just want to find the right one - not just simply choose, couple-ing, and breaking up. eventhough you are rejected, doesnt mean she wont remember you. it just when the things are spread out about your complaints, it has no longer precious to be remembered.

i think i should go to sleep nw..

he is going to wake me up in few more hours.

good morning, people (:

2010-05-19T15:57:00.001+07:00

friend of mine said: why you should bother bout your image? what people said will always be that way. the thing is you have to remember a truth will always be there for all the stories. another advice is you have to know when to apologize and when you dont have to.

sorry for those who rejected by me with or without intentionally. it just I cant find a way to be with you (no hard feeling) and I can really understand if you hate me, I dont mind. another thing, I am not saying I am the best or even the most beautiful (*vomiting) because I know that I am not (totally not). and there is something you should know too, I wont take someone who belongs to others. never ever! or even jealous with others' crush when I have my own bf. that's crazy.

I am seriously tired with all the rumours but yea, nothing I can do to change it. so, I gotta be who I am with my own life without thinking about other's feeling. there is always a limit for everything. everyone deserves their own life and so do I.

Judge me as a devil, I dont mind. But when you know the truth, everything will not be the same anymore. I will not say anything to people outside there to support myself. sooner or later, you will know by yourself.

2010-05-17T20:39:00.000+07:00

it has been awhile im leaving you, blog.
since im in the mood of blogging, let me share some with you.

1. im having a lot of thoughts, so i shared with one of my friends. after that, this person said: maybe you have to pray more often. and yea, i just realized im too far away from God, i seldom go to Temple or even praying.
so, what im gonna do next is trying to spend a lil part of my time to go Temple and pray and of course, i will bring you along with me. (:

2. this person is called by LOVER. thanks for giving me a lot of suggestions and being a wise man for me, trying to fight for me, trying to make me happy and hugs when im crying and make me laugh. thanks for every single thing, bf

3. this person, opsss.. i cant spread it out. but thanks to be there for me when i need you. there is one thing i want it from you, please keep it for yourself. thankies dear. :)

moral of the day:
= life is a big question and even google cant search for the answer (twitter 2010)
= be patience until your last limit and by that time, leave it (someone 2010)

sorry for the structure, i just finished the assignment and so in the mood of it. lol

2010-03-29T23:40:00.000+07:00

i realized,

i dont really have to be NICE all the time, sometimes I have to give people see my bad sides,

so that i can see who can accept me at my worst mood.

thats why im showing you the bad of mine

and if u do really care bout me,

you wont run away;

but you will give me your supports mentally

and the best of you

2010-03-22T20:55:00.000+07:00

It started as a Look ..
to a Smile ..
to a Hello ..
to a Friendship ..
to a close friend ..
Now, we are starting to say ILU to each other

2010-03-08T14:37:00.000+07:00

besties?

when it comes to this words,

a lot of meanings come out from mind.

it could be..

person who u can depend on;

person who u can share alot;

person who u can talk bout anything;

person who can gives u advices;

person who can be ur good listener;

person who can keep ur secrets;

person who doesnt have bad intentions;

as we know, being a good friend aka best friend is not that easy..

you can be a best friend for everyone, it doesnt mean they can be ur best friends

bcos everyone has different attitudes and different thoughts

as a human, we can only accept who they are n not being too demanding on 'em

but when it comes to sharing secrets,

its really hard to find the person who u can really rely on..

cos, human is just a human

human make mistakes..

not all of the human can keep secret safely..

some of 'em also can spread the secrets

what you can do is just..

put a lil faith on 'em even u still worried bout that.

NB: try to be a person who people can really rely on you,

cos at last, they will do the same thing for you.

thats what a best friend for..

2010-03-08T14:24:00.000+07:00

the beginning of march.. the month that i felt guilty.. really guilty.. even this is my last semester, i keep skipping most of the classes. i dont know how to manage that. i think i din put the efforts for this. and i feel so damn guilty now. the 3rd week of new semester, i never attended the AFA lecture class. this is one of the most difficult subject for last semester and i kept skipping that classes. what a good student i am. i admitted that im not a morning person =( im trying on it too but it just sometimes i have few things that couldnt let me attend the class..

starting from now on, im trying to manage back my time, trying to sleep earlier and trying to put more efforts on my studies.

my bad and its really my bad =(

2010-02-11T14:15:00.000+07:00

few days ago, i have decided to write a post but ended up with i've forgotten everything.

soo.. i will just write:

MISERABLE DURING HOLIDAY PERIOD

2010-02-04T20:51:00.000+07:00

dedicated to friends called DOUBLE A

thanks for reminding me everything,

giving me advices

seriously, it was the 1st time talking alot with both of u,

im on my way not being selfish,

trying not to be a pampered girl,

trying to be an independent girl,

trying not to be a straight forward person.

and yea, i do have a SHORT term memory..

so, forgive me if i ever did something bad to u guys purposely or even not.

cos i dont even remember if i ever did. my bad =(

2010-02-04T20:38:00.000+07:00

friend,

just a normal friend,

suddenly become a good friend,

a close friend,

excited feeling,

then..

melted her heart?

2010-01-29T18:22:00.000+07:00

unspoken

unwritten

unpredictable

uncontrollable

those four words describe me very well for now

honestly, i dont even know what i want

totally blank.

i dont know why i keep on doing that.

talking bout heart?

its totally empty.

nothing inside.

the only word i can describe here is excited !

2010-01-29T11:00:00.000+07:00

dedicated to: boys and girls around me (you know who you are)

;)

thanks for being there when i really need someone to talk to

thanks for the hug when i was crying

thanks for all the advices when i cant even think properly

and

sorry for disturbing you guys with my problems and stupidness

i do wanna be more mature than now,

i will and i promise

xoxo,

Tinna Constantia

2010-01-28T18:24:00.000+07:00

My Godness .. my holiday mode still ON and im going to face my exam on 3rd february. im running out of time.. i cant even concentrate on it. God, please gimme strength.. i wont ask for higher marks if im not worth enough to get it. i just need pass for that. i dont wanna let my parents disappointed on me. i promise them to finish my degree by next semester. God, please help me to do so.

Amen.

2010-01-26T00:31:00.000+07:00

everyone did mistakes

backstabbing;

gossiping;

misunderstanding;

fighting;

envy;

hate

its all in one package

as we know, people wont stop gossiping..

and

people sometimes backstabbing their own friends

we have to accept it as a part of life

life is complicated

but once u try to ignore it,

it will be so much easier for you

if u realize what was your mistakes,

try not to do it again,

even u know u can speak out without intentionally..

try your best not to do it.

me, myself is not a good person as well

i do have mistakes

and

i do have problems,

and it taught me to be strong.

i do apologize if i ever hurt any of you,

but one thing that i really sure..

i never said any dirty words or really insulting people.

so, watch your mouth or it can be your own killer.

2010-01-26T00:20:00.000+07:00

im sorry..

i dont mean it..

dedicated to: you-know-who-you-are ;)

2010-01-20T10:16:00.000+07:00

love is blind?

yes, exactly.

you dont have any choices when ur heart is a part of it

my friend said,

'if only i can choose, i wont choose her'.

what do you think when u heard that sentence?

its kinda hurt even she is not you.

cos, nobody's perfect.

and same goes to you..

you have to accept weaknesses of your partner.

life is like a box of chocolates,

we will never know what we gonna get.

2010-01-20T09:42:00.000+07:00

im doing what im not supposed to do,

i heard voices telling me;

'tinna, dont do that before its too late'.

but the sense of human always betray that feelings.

worried i could fall deeper n deeper,

but i just cant help myself.

one side: keep waiting for uncertainty things

another side: keep doing what i am not supposed to do.

2009-12-27T00:03:00.000+07:00

thanks :)

2009-12-22T00:56:00.000+07:00

finally, i made it..

happy to know that i wont make 'em disappointed.

yay !!

p.s: thanks GOD =)))

2009-12-05T22:48:00.000+07:00

honestly, i really miss you guys =(

come back here faster.

we have to spend more time together

i miss the old times

2009-11-18T22:26:00.000+07:00

suddenly, i miss home so much

i just wanna be home as soon as i can

but unluckily,

my ticket is on 20th nov.

ARGH !!

another story has began..

i tot no one recognize me after all

and,

i was totally wrong

T__T

almost all of 'em recognized me.

they suddenly asked me,

where, where, and where is that person?

and i just simply gave the answer that makes 'em wondering why

cos at first, they have lots of thought bout (u could say it by US).

and at last, PENONTON KECEWA as what my friends told me.

*speechless.

2009-11-12T18:16:00.000+07:00

you are just too sweet to be you
xoxo

2009-11-12T14:34:00.000+07:00

its heavy raining outside
and
im thinking of you

after all,
uncertainty?
yes, its my feeling
i have uncertainty feeling that lead me to a wrong decision
decision of he was not the one
and
this time, i will just go with the flow
(:

2009-11-01T00:03:00.000+07:00

i am who i am
you are who you are
we just need to be ourselves
act like there's nothing to worry about

i figured that i cant be such a child anymore
well, im 21 years old girl
so, im trying to handle everything by myself,
and stop being such a crybaby
its enough for the past few days that i cant even stop crying
and i made it.
=)

2009-10-29T15:30:00.000+07:00

wake up, tinna

wake up !!

exam is coming soon,

concentrate on it.

dear God, i just wanna get pass for all my subjects.

i will try my best for this semester.

i wanna leave the university life as soon as i can

please, help me to do so.

Amen

2009-10-28T17:58:00.000+07:00

Don't ever give up
if you still want to try.
Don't ever wipe your tears
if you still want to cry.
Don't ever settle for an answer
if you still want to know.
Don't ever say you don't love him
if you can't let him go.

You said you didn't want to see me get hurt,
so does that mean you closed
your eyes when I cried?

Don't say we're not right for each other,
the way I see it,
we're not meant for anyone else.

If the truth was told instead of a lie,
then the pain would go away sooner
and not hurt as much.

It really hurts when you
expected so much more
from the person you once loved so much.

Falling in love is awfully simple,
but falling out of love is simply awful.

I wish I was a kid again,
because skinned knees
are easier to fix then broken hearts.

Oftentimes we say goodbye
to the person we love without wanting to.
Though that doesn’t mean that we've
stopped loving them or
we've stopped to care.
Sometimes goodbye is a painful way
to say I love you.

If someone you love breaks your heart,
cry a river,
build a bridge,
and get over it.

It's like my mind knows what's right
but my heart is being retarded and still cares

May you know the peace
and comfort this heartfelt thought imparts;
the ones we love are never gone,
for they live within our hearts.

Life without you is like a broken pencil,
there is no point.

Because I never really had you at all,
I didn't think it would hurt this much to lose you

And now, all that I ever held dear is just a memory.

How can I love again when
I can't stop loving the one that hurt me so much?

A broken heart is a heart that has felt love.

If tears could build a stairway on memories alone,
I'd walk right up to Heaven
and bring you home again.

Ask me how many times
my heart has been broken
and I will tell you to look in the sky
and count the stars.

Broken Heart Quotes (Anonymous, 2009)

this note is totally cool.
i just simply copied from my friend's note when im on break of studying.

2009-10-24T12:55:00.000+07:00

Having a short trip to spore kinda makes me tired but, i have to go there. I need to see my grandma, she just had a surgery on her right leg. So, ended up with friday afternoon being a busy girl (==") and prepare everything. At night, a lil' bit worried as usual. Luckily i can handle it smoothly. On saturday morning, a stupid thing happened when i arrived at LCCT. my cousin called and told me that they were stopped at the wrong place (KLIA). OMG! its 7.05am and 40minutes to go before its too late. i simply told them to take a taxi and go to LCCT. fiuhhh.. it was fun when we were in a hurry. haha..
Then, we reached at my auntie's house with a sleepy face and i saw my grandma lying down on the sofa. and of course, without waiting for so long, me and my cousin hugged her from behind. we spent time together even only for one day. Grandma has recovered and we just need to wait till her leg can totally working. at night, we walked to orchad and ion road. spent abit at there. hehehe

p.s: get well soon, grandma ..

singapore, 12.35am, sunday

im lying down on the bed and dating with my cousin's laptop cos i cant sleep. =(
*pitty me..
a friend of mine told me that women are thinkers. honestly, its true. me, myself also keep thinking for nothing. *dodol!

hey, i forgot to mention one thing,

i miss you.

good night, people
Tinna Constantia

2009-10-20T00:33:00.000+07:00

an empty hope?
yes, im holding it right now
you are just like wind..
can come and go easily,
whenever you want

2009-10-19T13:25:00.000+07:00

honestly,
im a short-term memory person
i cant remember things that have passed
and i apologized for it

2009-10-18T14:46:00.000+07:00

Dad n Mom

FAMILY
there's only four of us.
proud to be your daughter n son
=)

2009-10-10T10:37:00.000+07:00

i remember the days we spent together were not enough
and it used to feel like dreaming
except we always woke up
never thought not having you here now would hurt so much

tonight i've fallen and i cant get up
i need your loving hands to come and pick me up
and every night i miss you
i can just look up
and know the stars are
holding you, tonight

-FM static, Tonight-

2009-10-09T01:36:00.000+07:00

its 3am in the morning
im here in front of my laptop
typing non-sense things

suddenly, i have a bad thought in mind
....

i dont care!
and
i hate this!

once you lie to me, i will never forgive you.

2009-10-07T01:12:00.001+07:00

friends.?
it can be enemies;
it can be normal friends;
and
it can be a true friend

anyway, its just an opening for this post

dedicated to both of you,
thank you for being there when i really need friends to talk to
thanks for the support
:)

2009-10-06T00:28:00.000+07:00

once again, i just had a conversation with a friend of mine.
but now, this is a guy not a girl. hehe
the 1st time he can shared alot to me
and,
he gave me this quote:
Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, who calls you back when you hang up on him, who will lie under the stars and listen to your heartbeat, or will stay awake just to watch you sleep... wait for the boy who kisses your forehead, who wants to show you off to the world when you are in sweats, who holds your hand in front of his friends, who thinks you' re just as pretty without makeup.

after all, he's quite good, he got a karma of what he has told me.
pitty you.
hehe..
just one thing for you,
if u really care and like this girl, dont just simply give her up.
good luck, friend (:

2009-10-05T16:29:00.000+07:00

9 more days and i will be home
even only for 4 days
at least i could be there with my family
im so damn happy
:)

conversations
# red sign: stop it right now.
# yellow sign: its 50:50. should try harder.
# green sign: is it a good sign? yes, if you can use it wisely.

2009-10-05T02:13:00.000+07:00

no surprise

2009-09-30T13:40:00.000+07:00

100%
done!

2009-09-29T23:43:00.000+07:00

i just had a conversation with a friend of mine.
she has a bit probs. it kinda a broken-heart prob
i cant help much but i still can be a good listener for her.
even we r not close each other, i wont be so bad to not be there when she needs a friend
she told me everything.. it was bad, dear. i know how u feel. but u have to be tough.
u have to move on =)

there will be a better person for you in the future.
dont worry, dear

2009-09-28T15:05:00.000+07:00

..stubborn..
..silly..

2009-09-28T03:01:00.000+07:00

CF assignment
AMA test
pocket pals
are DONE!
:)

2009-09-26T12:55:00.000+07:00

50:50
in the middle of something

p.s: thank you for last night

2009-09-26T12:54:00.000+07:00

you are erased
who are not suppose in the list will be erased soon

2009-09-24T19:01:00.000+07:00

if i could turn back time..
i wouldnt choose this as my lifeline

2009-09-21T22:41:00.000+07:00

just do whatever that makes you happy
if you keep taking care of people's feeling
and
they dont even think bout you,
whats the point?

at the end,
you will be the one who get hurts alot

enjoy ur life
but,
in a good line

the one who u really need to take care of
is
ur family

others,
can be ur cousins;
can be ur best best friend that will be there for you when u need 'em

but, remember
BEST BEST FRIEND is really hard to find
u have to be patience
and
one day, u will find who's that

so, dont give a damn, my dear.

thanks for giving me this advice
(:

pissed off

2009-09-20T22:22:00.000+07:00

mind your own business, fella

2009-09-20T01:54:00.001+07:00

if i need someone to talk to,
would u be there for me?

when im sad,
would u be there?

if im alone,
would u be there to accompany me?

every single questions keep flying in mind
i dont even know the answer
and
dont even know who are YOU
:(

for good

2009-09-20T01:39:00.000+07:00

Dedicated to:
Tommy Putra Suryawan Lais

have a safe flight
good luck for everything
and
hope to see you again
:)

classes

2009-09-17T13:51:00.000+07:00

maybe im not a good student at all
i skipped classes alot
my bad :(

since last semester i was trying to cut down the frequency of skipping class
but what to do, i cant.
the worst part is i couldnt wake up on time,
or even i can wake up earlier,
sometimes uncomfy feeling effects me to skip the classes

talking bout this semester
i feel guilty since im not putting my best effort at all
now is week 8 and i only have 5 more weeks to go before my final exam
oh gosh!
my mind is totally blank
what shoud i do!

during that 5 weeks,
i still have 3 upcoming assignments and 2 tests
what a life >.<

FYI,
i have skipped 1 tutorial, and uncounted lecture classes during this week T__T

2009-09-16T18:08:00.000+07:00

take it or leave it?

its ur choice

but once u have decided,

u wont be able to change ur decision anymore

think million times before u decide what should be urs and what shouldnt

there's no more second chance

life is about choices

2009-09-15T23:12:00.000+07:00

suddenly im addicted to what is called by blog
struggling with assignment has made me ignore everything that was happened lately
disclosure?
AASB?
journal?
oh gosh! i dont even know what i should write in this assignment
totally blank
=="

and i can see my partner's face is so dark
he cant even think properly
hahaa..

2009-09-15T17:01:00.000+07:00

a hundred days have made me older
a thousand lies have made me colder
and
i dont think i can look at this the same
all has been disappear

here's how it goes
everything is up n down
maybe this time we'll get everything wrong

2009-09-15T16:47:00.000+07:00

it seems so complicated
*speechless

thought that life wont be that easy
and now,
its my turn

one wish will be enough for me
just get me out of here
eyes are burning from these silly tears
:(

2009-09-15T10:59:00.000+07:00

stupid is as a stupid does

2009-09-15T05:51:00.000+07:00

disappointed?
absolutely YES
cant even see him when he comes here just for one night
what a day! =="
he will come here by tmrw n then goin to china
have a safe journey, beib (:
those assignment n tasks are driving me crazy
i dont even know how long i can stand for those things
but what i know is,
i will just do my best

TOP TEN #8
do the right thing when no one is watching and be proud of ur effort

stayed awake till 7am in the morning is not easy at all
me, dewi, valentine, eric, roger, sohail, bala, ceasar and deva were in the BGSC
guess what we were doin til 7am?
we were doin spring cleaning at BGSC
oh gosh!
what a tiring day for us ):

2009-09-14T00:55:00.000+07:00

as what i have said,
everything will be back soon..
and yes,
my feeling is better than before
i have nothin to feel
and
i have nothin to worry bout

2009-09-13T16:13:00.000+07:00

silence is the best way for everything
i wont force myself to wear a mask if i cant
=)

penang tour!

2009-09-13T15:56:00.000+07:00

4 days and 3 night was enough for us to enjoy the midbreak

we had lots of fun there
beach, temple and foods
there are 8 of us in the picture
teguh, tommy, tinna, oliph, wie ching, vincent, kenvin, and vico

after that 4 days, surely will welcoming the hell back
i dont feel like wanna be here anymore
but i have no choice
just need to be strong n face it gently
wont say too much to everyone
let 'em judge by themselves
last but not least, i have learned alot day by day
and thanks for giving me lots of advices

xoxo

2009-09-13T15:39:00.000+07:00

my birthday was great
i had lots of fun there
thanks for you-know-who-you-are that made my day become so special
here's my first cupcakes

and i miss my girls alot
no one else.
(:

2009-09-06T19:57:00.000+07:00

i cant control myself
1001 feelings

this is madness

2009-07-22T17:28:00.000+07:00

really hard to admit it but..
yes, that thing bothering me too much
i dont know what should i do now
i cant even concentrate with my upcoming exam
the long-lost friend has came back here
n now im struggling AGAIN
after 6 months of time
why should u be here when i have throw everything away?
its like giving me a dream that wont be true =(

2009-06-12T01:21:00.000+07:00

im ok with it now
n im trying hard to forget it all.
emotional? yes, i am.
moody? yes, its me too.
n its bcos im a human being.
=)

2009-06-05T01:38:00.000+07:00

kamu yang memulai
kamu juga yang harus mengakhiri

pesanku untukmu =p

2009-05-29T03:10:00.000+07:00

unbelieveable..
haha..
4am in the morning and im still awake..
chatting with few friends.. and yeah,, they r my close friends.
few more hours to go.. i will be sitting in the exam hall and FA paper will be in front of me..
suprisingly, i havent finish it yet. 10 chapters in one nite wont be enough for me. but i have no choice.
i need to go through the page one by one.
i just finished 6 chapters and i have 4 more to go.
ganbatte tinna. you can do it, girl =)
and i need a miracle as well.

tinna LOVE financial accounting.
LOL

confession of my heart

2009-03-19T16:33:00.000+07:00

its never crossed my mind at all
and now, i just realized..
falling for someone is not that easy
but, once u have falling..
its hard to throw the feeling

for more than ages, i never know what i want
i just go with the flow
where the flow will bring me
but now, im struggling in the middle of that stupid feeling.
im just trying to walk as far as i can
even sometimes i cant face it at all

how much longer will it take to cure this?
cause i cant ignore it
if its called LOVE
LOVE makes me wanna turn around and face it
i know nothing bout LOVE

i wont play myself no more
i wont worry myself
dont wanna deal with this
not gonna let it stress me no more
gonna get up, get out
aint thinking bout this feeling

why is it always feel like me?
chasing love when there's nothing
and here its me, again making the same mistake
i have fallen stupid for u

march '09

2009-03-09T10:54:00.000+07:00

here we are at the beginning of march =)
me, myself as one of the part timers at bubba gump.
the 2nd outlet in malaysia that opened at sunway pyramid.
the outlet is like the place that all indonesian will meet each other. most of the staffs are indonesian. they are come from sunway college and taylors college. can u imagine that? ahaha
but so far, i love my job =)
even friday's bday songs are better than bubba gump's songs. *peace

oo yeah, since 1st of march i became a homeless person. =(
lucky me, i have alot of friends and they help me.
specially for A11-03, thx alot for the room =)

being stronger

2009-02-22T12:15:00.000+07:00

am i strong enough to face it?
honestly, i cant take it any longer.
thought that i were stronger.
wish i could have a mask to put on my face
and yeah, i need thousand masks =(

i wish !!

2009-02-22T12:12:00.000+07:00

i wish i could talk to you, mom..
even just for a second..
i need it. i really do !!

feb' 2009

2009-02-06T13:09:00.000+07:00

life is too complicated.
thought this year will be better than yesterday, unluckily its not. =(

started from 1st January 2009, i got 1st present from one of my friends.
thx for the best present baby..

afterwards, nothing special i can mention here.. day by day was gone easily..
working as a part timer.
summer school.
movies.
makan. makan n makan.
pasar malam.
shopping.
redbox.
DIET as well.
ahaha.. thats all i have done in few months.

22 january 2009, i went back to medan for 2 weeks.. met febri, wie ching n olip on the 1st day.
i brought my textbook n it just wasted my energy. bcos i did not study at all.
i spent the 2 weeks holiday with friends and families.

25 January 2009 was the CNY eve..
my big family had a dinner in JW Marriott ballroom.
Yee Sang is the opening of the dinner.
Yee Sang is the tradition from malaysia n spore for welcoming the CNY.
this is the 1st time for my family to celebrate it with Yee Sang.
lucky me, i did it before i went back (when i had a dinner with sushi zanmai company) so that i can teach them how to do it.
finally, we spent our whole night there. took a pictures, gossiping =) etc.

26 January 2009, went to grandma house and met my big big families there.
angpao lai le =)

after few days, i went out with cousins.
went to beach, eat seafoods, eat everything.
and i gained my weight. =(

4 feb 2009, flight back to KL. study mood must be ON but unfortunately it cant. T__T
im too sensitive for this couple weeks which i dont know why.. felt abit sad. wanna cry it out but cant.
i dont know what am i supposed to do. =(

eh eh, i need to end up this blog nw. febri asked me to mandi 1st. lol
its late d.. n i need to study for my upcoming exam.
wish me luck =)

2008-12-29T22:38:00.000+07:00

wew.. ud lama jg gw ga ngepost lg. mpe ad bebrp tmn yg komen kl blog gw ni ud ga diurus. ehehe..

big panda said: tin, blog lu cm sbulan skali ya dipost.? jrg bgt ad post br dr lu.
##maklum pan, gw agak mls kdg2 bwt ngepost. ehehe..

arghhh.. i got midtest on wednesday which is 31 december 2008 =(
but after that, im going to have some fun with my friends.
hope it wont be that boring =)

hey, lemme introduce my new workmates =)
we r working in sushi zanmai the gardens..

left-right:
vivi, amanda, me, wilys n ta ying

Ken Tan -manager of sushi zanmai gardens-

ta ying - tinna

tinna, wilys n vincent

aku nyerah

2008-11-29T20:24:00.000+07:00

aku nyerah..
aku nyerah..
aku capek..
serasa ga berguna sm skali..
aku balek ke tmpat yg dl..
nanggung malu..
ngecewain org2 di skitar aku..
maap..
maap bangett..

T___T

YAY!

2008-11-12T16:25:00.000+07:00

YAY! im home baby.
but, i dont even like the weather. damn hot, man.
feel like dying. T___T

baru aja mandi, masa ud keringatan lg? ga banged deh.

cant stop the tears

2008-10-22T12:21:00.001+07:00

i never knew i could hurt like this
everyday life goes on like "wish i could talk to you for awhile"
i try not to cry but i just cant
as time goes by
i realized that, i need to be strong. need to leave it behind.

crying for 2 days really made me sick..
why dont u just let me find my happiness? i need it. YES, i really need it.

please, act like others who dont care bout people's life. just mind ur own business please.
im so sick. stop it please.
and im just a girl, trying to find a place in this world.

someone asked me a stupid question yesterday that i dont even want to answer.. im so sorry, but thats the truth.
i am who i am

otherside of mine is like to pinching n punching. wew... XD
im so sorry.. sometimes, i lose of control if someone bully me.. but, sometimes if i close to that person, i can just simply pinch them. ehehe.. sorry *my bad =(
i will trying to stop it. stop my kebiasaan buruk..
one of my friends gave me a name puncher and he is sandbag. =.="

one more thing, please dont simply touch me if u just knew me, i wont let u n will give u a pinch n pukulan2 like yesterday =p
PS: u know who u r

i write this blog before i start dating with my books. kinda tired but we have no choice.
exam coming soon guys, good luck =)

STUPID ME !

2008-10-11T01:26:00.000+07:00

kejenuhan belajar uda ampe puncaknya.
jenuh dari kecil belajar mulu.
nuntut ilmu dr pakam ke medan slama 3 taon.
SMA tu kenangan paling ak suka. lumayan menyenangkan hasil2 n dpt bebrp pengalaman.
trus dr medan ke malaysia.
yg mana cm bs ditempuh pake pesawat.
awal2 di VU, tekanannya ga gitu berat.
ktm banyak tmn2.. ad bebrp tmn2 yg deket ma ak. mrk ngebantu ak. *thx anyway =)

lanjut ke monash, rasanya itu ud bnr2 sesak.
pgn nyerah aja. tp tkt ngecewain ortu.
ak ud sesak bgt. ud ga kuat ma smua buku2.
apa itu company reporting? itu pelajaran yg bnr2 ga ak ngerti.
pgn ngs tp ga bisa..
cuma bisa liat ke depan.
waktu berlalu dgn cepat.
tanggal 28 oktober itu tanggalnya COMPANY REPORTING.
aku bnran takut ngecewain ortu lagi.

maaf pa.. maaf ma.. aku ga bs jadi kebanggaan lagi.
ngerasa bodoh.. ngerasa ga berguna..
should i just give up?
i still have 1 more year to go... OMG!!
takut banget aku ga bisa tahan..

ud ga ad motivasi sm skali..
omg.. im so stupid. stupid me! T____T

Genting trip midbreak with tarabuddy

2008-10-09T15:57:00.000+07:00

ttg genting trip brg tarabuddy ni, gw ga akan nulis panjang2 de ttg critanya krn 2 org tmn gw ud pd nulis di blog mereka. u can check it out by urself. here's the link:
http://thescratchoflife.blogspot.com
http://mybreathespace.blogspot.com

29 orang yg ada di foto ni lah yg ikut ke genting.
seneng banget bs kenal ma kalian smua.
=)

hey ya!

2008-10-09T14:53:00.000+07:00

u treated me as a gold, where i didnt asked for.
i just need u by my side
what peoples seen n what peoples talked is all bout us.
they just cant stop gossiping.
talked bad behind.
hey guys.. dont judge people by its cover..

peoples talked bad behind us.
why they do that?
its not their business at all.
i wish i can close one eye, ignore what peoples talked,
but i just cant..
it hurts me so deep

its just between 2 of us. its not ur business, peoples..
so please, dont make me sick with ur tongue.
its enough to let u all keep gossiping n talked bad behind us.

I boundless patience..
am i a celebrity?
till you keep gossiping bout me n keep updating bout my life?
thx Franz for giving me a spirit when im down.

anyway, i wont be mad bcos of this.
but please, just gimme a space to breathe.
i need my own freedom.

here they are (=

2008-10-08T23:07:00.000+07:00

the picture above is all the peoples who filling my days with alot of happiness.

we spent our nite at redbox on sunday 26 october 2008. love it! even im not singing at all.

TOMMY putra suryawan lais

agusTINNA constan

IBNU herbowo

OSE melinda

WINSON kurniawan toyib

SJAZILI yanto putra.

this picture is bout my new friends. this two cute little girls r my roommate along my trip in Genting with my tarabuddy group.

FEBRI limanto

YENNY willyana

august lover

2008-10-07T23:09:00.000+07:00

last august was a wonderful month for me.. my bday is on that month, n august 2008 also my last month working in T.G.I.Friday’s as a part timer.. i had many memories that i wont forget.

i love fridays actually but i have no choice coz my parents asked me to stop.. i gave my resignation letter on 16 august 2008 to Ms. Delaila (she’s one of the managers of Friday’s sunway pyramid). let me write a little bit story about Fridays pyramid..

i have been working since opening with my friends.. it means we r the opening teams. since December 2007, Fridays has 5 managers >> Mr. Nick as a GM, Mr. Adrian as a kitchen manager, Mr. Raj as a bar manager, Mr. Jason n Mr. Syed as floor managers. and when Mr. Syed working, he gave alot of problems to Fridays sunway. i hate him actually, ehehe.. n suddenly he left fridays n moved to BU. then, Dee came n becomes a SPG manager.. Mr. Jason becomes a bar manager. Jason is the best manager ever. ahaha.. Jason helps me alot. like when THE WORST DUB2 disturbed me. i wont write his name here.. *dont worry* ehehe.. but lucky me, he has resigned earlier than me bcos of his manners. get drunk every night and bcos of that, he always skip working. and yeahh.. at there, i had make a few mistakes.. when the staffs keep gossiping me with one of the kitchen guys. he works as a part timer also. and yeah, dats my mistake. if i could turn back time, i wont say YES. im so sorry.. *my bad. =(

turn to write a short story bout my bday on 280808

got a small bday surprise from my collegues at monash A13-01. i tot there was a bday surprise for rina. cos her bday also on 2808. then after we celebrated her bday, suddenly they bring out another cakes n sing a bday song for me. abit shocked actually.. but thx guys =)

on my bday, i have to work at fridays which is thursday’s boring day. work on week days is such a boring day.. but i cant do anything cos that week was my last week. at 10pm, vincent called me n ask me where am i? im in fridays n wanna going home nw. he said ‘we r in pyramid nw. wanna going back together? we’ll wait for u’. then i say yes. after that, when i wanna walk out from fridays, that mr. OLI =) asked me to wait then suddenly my friends bring out the bday cake n bring me along to the kitchen. inside the kitchen, they siram me with cream, chocolate, sanitizer, water, etc. oh gosh!! it was my 2nd time kena from fridays.. but, thx alot BOHs n FOHs.. =) it was so wonderful.. anyway, nowell, ricky n wan.. thx for washing my hair..

>> ricky, thx for the white shirt

>> nowell, thx for the hembus2 mata when my mata kabur bcoz of the cream

>> wan, thx for the tissue. ahaha..

>> chris, ths for the car. XD

tinna, MR.OLI and CHRIS

>> vincci, lung, hnpei, ibnoeee.. sorry ga jadi ikut pulang. krn ga bs plg jalan kaki dlm keadaan bgitu. =(

lung n tinna

tinna n ibnu

tinna n vincent aka vincci

the bday cake, i gave to all of the staffs who work on that day.. =)
a mouthful cake for each staffs. from the GM, managers, FOH n BOH.. lol

guys, thx for the wishes.. =)

i really appreciate it. mwahhh