another story

So, I used to think about early marriage as I am getting older each year. Some people may think its too early to get married at my age because at this time, we just started to enjoy our time as a worker or even live our life to the fullest before dealing with family things. I know its not that easy to go to that point but why dont we try to?

I have been in relationship for few times and its all turned out bad. No one should be blamed for that, because when a relationship is ended, it means both sides are wrong. To be honest, I am tired of trying. I just wanna have a never ending relationship with 'the one'.

When I am about to give up, few reasons gave me not to. I am trying so hard to fight this fear so I can give myself another chance to try. I am really enjoying my time with besties, cousins and having good times with parents too. Laughter is surrounding which I have been missed for few months. I know moving on is not easy but if we try it hard, I believe we can do it. Every fail relationship will teach us how to be strong, how to deal with different people,etc. So, be brave and thankful for whatever you used to have.

A random question that makes me cant even sleep, cant even think and cant even breathe properly..

When you are ready, will you ***** me?

ps: sorry for my broken english

month of love

another goodbye

I dont know what to write here; been thinking alot lately. I dont even know what to write here. Sucks huh? YES!

Oh well, I also need a gateway, like seriously. I need to release all these craziness. I have not been practicing my english since I touched down Indonesia and I think my english sucks already :(

Lemme share what I can share here.

1. Work

I am still working as a banker at PermataBank. I dislike my job, I wanna quit but poor me, those people dont wanna make it easy for me. This is really my first job for real and I did not know if there are tons of politics and snakes at there. I screwed my first plan and hence, I have to deal with this job like a year or maybe 3 years? I am so dead. The first person who reminded me bout the politics was him. He used to be bf, he taught me how to face colleagues or even an evil at work. thanks anyway :)

2. Life

I miss my old times :( I miss the fun and laughter ..

3. Family

I have a superb family ♥

say hello to 2012

First week of 2012

wishlist:

1. Galaxy tab. Well, I have dreamed bout this gadget from last year

and now I am going to get it after CNY or on February.

-Galaxy Tab 7.7-

OR

-Galaxy Tab 7.0 plus-

2. A Celine's Handbag.

3. Tiffany&Co charm bracelet

Need to save lots of money to get those things. Im dying for it >.<

admit it

I am sitting in front of laptop and supposed to browse bout education thingy but ended up with blogging. This topic has crossed in my mind few times. It is about 'the mouth' 'the gossips' the rumours' and life. people tend to talk bad about others intentional or unintentionally and it happens to us too. I dont deny it because I did it somehow and it does not mean you never talked about me too. Admit that you did the same would be better than being a hypocrite. You could be mad at me but dont you think you did the same too? why dont you just admit and leave it behind? I could be mad at you too, but I choose not to. you know why? It because I know people do mistakes and we as humans have to understand and have to forgive in order to have a better life. In this life, everyone keeps complaining about their life but somehow, before we judge, we have to put ourselves in their shoes to know what they feel. I am here to tell, I hate nobody. I have learned a lot from the past few years. Hating people wont help you to get a better life.

boredom kills

Perfectionist leads people to a dead end while on the other side, it has its own good as well. When you are in your 'mature' age, you should know how to act, talk and behave like one. You cant always depends on people to remind you every single thing to make you a better one. People may get tired and so do you. Being too confident wont help you at all if its not suit with what you have been doing. You should recall from the very first day and you will know there's a lot of barriers between you and me. what has happened lately is really a big turn-off for me. It wont be easy to get the ticket to someone's heart or even being a tunnel of someone's soul. When the door is closed and locked, you will know that the key you are holding is no longer used and you should get a new key by starting it all from the very first step or perhaps you can give up and leave it just like that. you might think I am a cold-blooded but to be honest, I am just being myself. I believe, one day there is someone who can accept me for who I am. It takes a special character to deal with a picky 'virgo'. Believe it or not, I am a virgo and well, its just an additional before I stop typing.

irresponsible

I could admit that I am not ready yet for working life. I dont even know how to commit with it. Honestly, my self-management is worst. I couldnt manage my time and I never went to work on time. oh damn! I feel ashamed and I am irresponsible. I guess I am going to take a short break from everything and enjoy my life to the max. I have been pressing my brain too hard and thinking a lot for these few months. On the other side, I have to learn how to be wise, how to say NO when it is needed and more mature than now. and I wish I could have a better life. I do not want to be trapped anymore.